In an interesting blog post @2moms2babies asks what kind of parent are you?
This prompted me to think about the things that really are important to me and to summarise the kind of parent that I have found myself to be.
While I was pregnant with Henry the two most important things for me were Breastfeeding and Cloth Nappies. I am still very proud to say that at nearly 18 months Henry has never tasted formula and never touched a disposable nappy. I say it not to show off (although if I'm truthful there probably is a bit of that!) but because I feel they are achievements of mine that I have worked hard at. Especially the breastfeeding - it was not easy and we really struggled to get things established in the beginning. It was through sheer determination that we succeeded and eventually things settled down.
Since Henry arrived I have learnt a lot more about attachment parenting methods and "happy hippy" parenting, some of which we have taken on board and others we have been indifferent about.
Like most people we bought a Baby Bjorn carrier before Henry was born, only to discover the delights of wrap slings and ring slings through the breastfeeding support group once he was here. We used a Kari-Me stretchy wrap quite a bit in the first 7 months, but not as much as we could have. I look back at some situations where he was unsettled, etc and wonder why we didn't think to try the sling! I plan to use babywearing a great deal more with no. 2 - to the extent that I have decided not to get a double buggy and join the Phil & Teds fashion parade.
We cosleep when we need to, but Henry has also always had his own basket or cot. He was over 11 months before we moved his cot into his own room though - I think that was more for me than for him though! We've got an Arms Reach Mini Cosleeper for no.2, partly so we can safely have Henry and the baby close by at the same time, without our bed feeling very small or Henry squishing baby.
I have amber teething bracelets for Henry but am undecided as to whether they work. He did go through a phase of asking for it on though, so maybe he's noticed their effect?
BLW we took on 100%. It just made sense. I read Gill Rapley's book and it seemed easier, more effective and so much more natural. I'm not the kind of person that does things by halves - if I believe in it, we go all out. So again, Henry never had any purees at all. In some ways BLW was a bit of an experiment for us - we believed it would work, but the results have been even more astonishing that we could have imagined.
I guess I want to produce happy, healthy, confident and secure babies that know they are loved. I value these things by far over having a baby that sleeps through the night, or my bed to myself. I also believe that if your baby knows you will be there to kiss it better if they fall, to comfort them if they get scared or to be close to them if they need to feel safe then they are far more likely to have the confidence to find independence for themselves - safe in the knowledge that you won't be far away if they need you.
That, I suppose, is what is really important. and what "Happy Hippy Mummy" means to me.
Thursday, 25 March 2010
Wednesday, 24 March 2010
Labour massage oil
www.treehuggermums.co.uk/articles/pregnancy/article.php?article=93
Made up this labour massage oil from the article above:
30mls Apricot Kernel Oil
2 drops frankincense
3 drops lavender
1 drop bergamot
40 drops Neroli 5% dilute in Jojoba oil
Didn't have pure Neroli essential oil, so used 5% dilute instead.
This means 20 drops of 5% Neroli = 1 drop of 100% Neroli
Therefore 40 drops of 5% Neroli = 2 drops of 100% Neroli
Jojoba oil is a base oil anyway, so it doesn't matter that you are also adding it to the mix.
The resulting massage oil smells very earthy and due to the Neroli & Frankincense it has a strange effect on the mind. Its very calming and generally relaxing, but in a meditative way. Frankincense is used in religious rituals and trance experiences for precisely this effect; something I think is similar to the concentrated meditation that I experienced naturally when in labour with Henry. I'm hoping this blend will help to induce this state of mind for the birth of baby #2 as well. I'll keep you posted!
Made up this labour massage oil from the article above:
30mls Apricot Kernel Oil
2 drops frankincense
3 drops lavender
1 drop bergamot
40 drops Neroli 5% dilute in Jojoba oil
Didn't have pure Neroli essential oil, so used 5% dilute instead.
This means 20 drops of 5% Neroli = 1 drop of 100% Neroli
Therefore 40 drops of 5% Neroli = 2 drops of 100% Neroli
Jojoba oil is a base oil anyway, so it doesn't matter that you are also adding it to the mix.
The resulting massage oil smells very earthy and due to the Neroli & Frankincense it has a strange effect on the mind. Its very calming and generally relaxing, but in a meditative way. Frankincense is used in religious rituals and trance experiences for precisely this effect; something I think is similar to the concentrated meditation that I experienced naturally when in labour with Henry. I'm hoping this blend will help to induce this state of mind for the birth of baby #2 as well. I'll keep you posted!
Friday, 19 February 2010
Feminism and Motherhood
www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/feb/12/france-feminism-elisabeth-badinter
This article recently published in the Guardian newspaper fired up some strong emotions for me, as a more or less stay at home Mum. Now before I continue my rant, I should say that I haven’t read the book referred to in the article, so this rant is purely based on the article itself.
It states that: “according to one leading feminist, the French model of motherhood is facing an unprecedented threat from a "dangerous" new brand of thought which seeks to keep women at home and make them the slaves of their children.”
This “dangerous” brand of thought is the green movement - i.e. that breastfeeding and cloth nappies mean that mothers are “tied” to their children in a "regressive" movement that could set back feminism by decades.
The article closes with a quote from Sabine Salmon, president of the association Femmes Solidaires, who says “that during school visits over the past two years her employees had noticed more and more French schoolgirls expressing a desire to stay at home. "It's a very worrying indicator," she said.”
This quote angered me the most. The problem is that this reveals an underlying opinion that being a stay at home Mum is not a worthwhile profession. These so called “feminists” actually do not believe that feminity has any value and that in order to be “equal” members of society, women must be more like men.
While I am grateful, in awe, of those women who faught so hard in the past for our rights - for the vote, to be able to work alongside men and to have the same opportunities as men, I am also grateful that I have the choice to be a full-time Mother to my children. In todays culture, I am incredibly lucky to be able to do this, as so many women have no choice but to return to work.
And surely it is the *choice* that is important. These “feminists” seek to take this choice away from me, to limit my oportunities in life, rather than to expand them and to say that I am a second class citizen if I choose not to enter the corporate world and instead to be a “slave” to my children.
My work as a mother is the most important thing in the world to me. If you had a job you were proud of, would you not want to do it to the best of your abilities? So for me, doing my best involves breastfeeding my children, using cloth nappies, not just for the environment but for the health of my children and being there to comfort them when they need me.
By doing this job I contribute something I feel is priceless to our family. If we were to pay a childminder 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks in a year it would cost a fortune. This could be a starting point for putting a price on my work.
But I don’t do it for money. How many employees, with fancy jobs that they have to commute to and work long hours for, could say that they would continue to do their job if one day they won the lottery?
I wouldn’t give up my job for all the money in the world. I might pay someone to do the washing up, but the childminder? Never. It is my privilege to be able to care for my children.
So why should it be worrying that more teenagers aspire to live a life like mine, full of laughter and cuddles and the rewards of watching your children grow and mature? Certainly we should all aspire to getting a good education, an income and being self sufficient as women. But if the oportunity arises to be a stay at home Mum, to contribute something *more* than money to your family, shouldn’t we have the choice to take it?
I am not a slave to my children, this implies enforced labour. I give myself freely.
This article recently published in the Guardian newspaper fired up some strong emotions for me, as a more or less stay at home Mum. Now before I continue my rant, I should say that I haven’t read the book referred to in the article, so this rant is purely based on the article itself.
It states that: “according to one leading feminist, the French model of motherhood is facing an unprecedented threat from a "dangerous" new brand of thought which seeks to keep women at home and make them the slaves of their children.”
This “dangerous” brand of thought is the green movement - i.e. that breastfeeding and cloth nappies mean that mothers are “tied” to their children in a "regressive" movement that could set back feminism by decades.
The article closes with a quote from Sabine Salmon, president of the association Femmes Solidaires, who says “that during school visits over the past two years her employees had noticed more and more French schoolgirls expressing a desire to stay at home. "It's a very worrying indicator," she said.”
This quote angered me the most. The problem is that this reveals an underlying opinion that being a stay at home Mum is not a worthwhile profession. These so called “feminists” actually do not believe that feminity has any value and that in order to be “equal” members of society, women must be more like men.
While I am grateful, in awe, of those women who faught so hard in the past for our rights - for the vote, to be able to work alongside men and to have the same opportunities as men, I am also grateful that I have the choice to be a full-time Mother to my children. In todays culture, I am incredibly lucky to be able to do this, as so many women have no choice but to return to work.
And surely it is the *choice* that is important. These “feminists” seek to take this choice away from me, to limit my oportunities in life, rather than to expand them and to say that I am a second class citizen if I choose not to enter the corporate world and instead to be a “slave” to my children.
My work as a mother is the most important thing in the world to me. If you had a job you were proud of, would you not want to do it to the best of your abilities? So for me, doing my best involves breastfeeding my children, using cloth nappies, not just for the environment but for the health of my children and being there to comfort them when they need me.
By doing this job I contribute something I feel is priceless to our family. If we were to pay a childminder 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks in a year it would cost a fortune. This could be a starting point for putting a price on my work.
But I don’t do it for money. How many employees, with fancy jobs that they have to commute to and work long hours for, could say that they would continue to do their job if one day they won the lottery?
I wouldn’t give up my job for all the money in the world. I might pay someone to do the washing up, but the childminder? Never. It is my privilege to be able to care for my children.
So why should it be worrying that more teenagers aspire to live a life like mine, full of laughter and cuddles and the rewards of watching your children grow and mature? Certainly we should all aspire to getting a good education, an income and being self sufficient as women. But if the oportunity arises to be a stay at home Mum, to contribute something *more* than money to your family, shouldn’t we have the choice to take it?
I am not a slave to my children, this implies enforced labour. I give myself freely.
Thursday, 18 February 2010
My Breastfeeding Journey So Far - The First Week
I always knew my children would be breastfed, even before I knew I would have children. It was obvious. I didn’t ever consider there would be an alternative. So when I fell pregnant with Henry that was one less thing to think about. Decision made - I would breastfeed. Now to get on with the decorating and buying baby clothes.
All through the pregnancy I *intended* to go to the local breastfeeding support group, but there was always more decorating to be done and somehow I never got around to it. Due to my work I couldn’t do a full ante-natal course with the NCT, so I signed us up for a one day intensive, which very briefly touched on the subject of breastfeeding. But I don’t think I really took it in, among all the information about dealing with the labour. So even though I was dedicated to the idea of breastfeeding my baby, I was seriously unprepared for it. But it’s natural, right? What more can there be to it than just whipping out a nipple?!
Henry was born at home with a perfect (idealistic, some might say) water birth. I had no pain relief apart from the TENS machine and the warm water - it just wasn’t necessary. He was born into the water and bounced on the bottom of the soft pool, arms and legs splayed in a startle position and eyes looking up at me from under the water. Incredible. My husband lifted him up to the surface and into my arms where I held him close and looked at him in amazement.
The next few moments passed in a blur of relief, happiness and a feeling of, “right, what do I do now?!”. I knew I should breastfeed soon, but I didn’t have a clue where to begin and I assumed the midwife would talk me through it. In such a dazed state of mind I worried that I should really know what to do and if I asked for help I would look stupid and the midwife, who had been so supportive during my labour, would laugh at me, or tell me off for not knowing. So I waited for her to tell me when to breastfeed.
After a short while with my baby - perhaps half an hour - the midwife started to worry about the delivery of the placenta. So with time ticking on she suggested that Daddy take the baby into the other room while we try a few things to get the placenta delivered. I think her suggestions were to stand up, try pulling gently on the chord and if all that didn’t work we’d try some nipple stimulation. Why she suggested all this, when putting the baby to the breast might be much more effective I don't know. But after 45 minutes the placenta was delivered and I got out of the pool.
Then followed examinations and various poking and prodding before unglamoursly staggering upstairs to the bathroom for a shower. Once I was clean & fresh I climbed into my bed and Henry was brought to me to try feeding. I don’t really have any perception of how long this was after he was born, but I suspect it must have been around 2.5 hours. He latched on immediately, but it was quite painful. The midwife smiled and said “there you go, you’re both naturals!”, so I assumed it was supposed to feel like that. After a few minutes she left us to it and saw herself out.
The next few days were a dizzy high of watching Henry sleeping and falling in love so much that it hurt. I got used to the feeling of him feeding and it seemed to be going so well. But on day 5 things started to change. I felt feverish and hot, my breasts were full and tender and the mild pain of feeding turned into agony. I had several open blisters and one side had a groove that seemed to cut through a third of the nipple. Each feed felt like someone taking a pair of blunt scissors to my breast and twisting them. At the same time I was getting after pains in my abdomen and aches in my back and neck. This was much worse than anything I had experienced during the labour.
As feeding Henry became more and more painful I began to hold back from it. I would put off feeding him until it was absolutely necessary and would withdraw as he went to latch on. I looked up websites that could tell me how to latch him and tried to control it rather than letting him just go for it. He began to throw his head from one side to the other at what seemed like lightning speed each time I tried to latch him. It was impossible for me to bring him up to the nipple quickly enough. Nighttimes especially turned into a fight between Henry and I - him trying desperately to grab what he could and me trying to stop him and control the latch. Often we would be fighting like this for well over an hour before I would take a deep breath and let him feed while I cried with the pain or bit hard into my wrist to take my mind of it.
Only once did my husband offer to go out for formula in a desperate attempt to be of some help while he watched his wife and child battling together at 3am. I said no. I didn’t care how much it took. Breastfeeding my baby was the most important thing in the world to me and I wasn’t about to give up. Instead I would get help. I would percevere another couple of days until I could go to the support group. So we battled on until finally Monday came and I ventured out on my own with Henry for the first time.
All through the pregnancy I *intended* to go to the local breastfeeding support group, but there was always more decorating to be done and somehow I never got around to it. Due to my work I couldn’t do a full ante-natal course with the NCT, so I signed us up for a one day intensive, which very briefly touched on the subject of breastfeeding. But I don’t think I really took it in, among all the information about dealing with the labour. So even though I was dedicated to the idea of breastfeeding my baby, I was seriously unprepared for it. But it’s natural, right? What more can there be to it than just whipping out a nipple?!
Henry was born at home with a perfect (idealistic, some might say) water birth. I had no pain relief apart from the TENS machine and the warm water - it just wasn’t necessary. He was born into the water and bounced on the bottom of the soft pool, arms and legs splayed in a startle position and eyes looking up at me from under the water. Incredible. My husband lifted him up to the surface and into my arms where I held him close and looked at him in amazement.
The next few moments passed in a blur of relief, happiness and a feeling of, “right, what do I do now?!”. I knew I should breastfeed soon, but I didn’t have a clue where to begin and I assumed the midwife would talk me through it. In such a dazed state of mind I worried that I should really know what to do and if I asked for help I would look stupid and the midwife, who had been so supportive during my labour, would laugh at me, or tell me off for not knowing. So I waited for her to tell me when to breastfeed.
After a short while with my baby - perhaps half an hour - the midwife started to worry about the delivery of the placenta. So with time ticking on she suggested that Daddy take the baby into the other room while we try a few things to get the placenta delivered. I think her suggestions were to stand up, try pulling gently on the chord and if all that didn’t work we’d try some nipple stimulation. Why she suggested all this, when putting the baby to the breast might be much more effective I don't know. But after 45 minutes the placenta was delivered and I got out of the pool.
Then followed examinations and various poking and prodding before unglamoursly staggering upstairs to the bathroom for a shower. Once I was clean & fresh I climbed into my bed and Henry was brought to me to try feeding. I don’t really have any perception of how long this was after he was born, but I suspect it must have been around 2.5 hours. He latched on immediately, but it was quite painful. The midwife smiled and said “there you go, you’re both naturals!”, so I assumed it was supposed to feel like that. After a few minutes she left us to it and saw herself out.
The next few days were a dizzy high of watching Henry sleeping and falling in love so much that it hurt. I got used to the feeling of him feeding and it seemed to be going so well. But on day 5 things started to change. I felt feverish and hot, my breasts were full and tender and the mild pain of feeding turned into agony. I had several open blisters and one side had a groove that seemed to cut through a third of the nipple. Each feed felt like someone taking a pair of blunt scissors to my breast and twisting them. At the same time I was getting after pains in my abdomen and aches in my back and neck. This was much worse than anything I had experienced during the labour.
As feeding Henry became more and more painful I began to hold back from it. I would put off feeding him until it was absolutely necessary and would withdraw as he went to latch on. I looked up websites that could tell me how to latch him and tried to control it rather than letting him just go for it. He began to throw his head from one side to the other at what seemed like lightning speed each time I tried to latch him. It was impossible for me to bring him up to the nipple quickly enough. Nighttimes especially turned into a fight between Henry and I - him trying desperately to grab what he could and me trying to stop him and control the latch. Often we would be fighting like this for well over an hour before I would take a deep breath and let him feed while I cried with the pain or bit hard into my wrist to take my mind of it.
Only once did my husband offer to go out for formula in a desperate attempt to be of some help while he watched his wife and child battling together at 3am. I said no. I didn’t care how much it took. Breastfeeding my baby was the most important thing in the world to me and I wasn’t about to give up. Instead I would get help. I would percevere another couple of days until I could go to the support group. So we battled on until finally Monday came and I ventured out on my own with Henry for the first time.
Thursday, 8 October 2009
Home Birth: My Birth Story
As we celebrate Henry's first birthday I can't help thinking back to that wonderful day when he was born and being thankful that we had such a fantastic experience. It was a beautiful day - I can honestly say I enjoyed giving birth and I can't wait to do it again!
I had a home water birth with Henry, who is my first baby. It was the most amazing thing I've ever experienced!! It was wonderful to be at home in an environment that I felt comfortable in and in control of the situation.
Contractions started just after midnight on Saturday morning - I wasn't entirely sure if it was just braxton hicks as I hadn't experienced any of them before, but I thought there was no harm in sticking on the TENS machine anyway. Worst case was it came to nothing and we got to do a "practice run". Once we'd got the TENS all set up (great by the way!!! it really works!) we went back to bed to get some sleep for a couple of hours.
Around 3:30am I woke DH again to say it was getting stronger so I thought it probably wasn't just a practice run and we went downstairs to fill the birth pool. Bit of a nightmare as although we'd blown up the pool we hadn't tried out the hose for filling it and as soon as the tap went on the hose popped off the tap and exploded water everywhere! Poor DH was stood in the kitchen dripping with water & soaked through his PJs!
Just at the same time I had to grab a bucket and was sick - one word of advice, a chilli filled Thai curry might seem like a good idea to get labour started, but on the way out again you'll regret it!!!
Anyway, with the pool finally filled and everything prepared we went back to bed again for a few more hours sleep and called the MW in the morning to let her know that I was happy to stay on my own, but that things were starting to happen.
After a lovely breakfast together we went for a walk - partly to see if we could get the contractions to become a little more regular and partly because I had a letter to post that I knew I woudn't get around to posting once DS was here! The sun was shining in that lovely autumnal way and we walked around the local park getting some funny looks during contractions!
But it worked and contractions became much stronger and more regular, so back home for some lunch. Trouble was that as soon as I sat down to eat contractions stopped again. It was so stop & start and not painful at all that I began to doubt whether I was in labour or not! At this point I called the MW again as I was fed up with not knowing and could she just come and tell me whether I was in labour or not.
She arrived and did an examination (the only one I had throughout the whole labour!) and told me I was around 5.5cm - established labour! Woohoo! I was pretty impressed too as it wasn't painful at all - just a bit uncomfortable during the contractions, but nothing unmanageable at all!
She did tell me that DS was back to back, which probably accounts for the stop & start labour, so I put on my music and started dancing, doing hip circles during contractions to turn him around. (you can see the video here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nEdqIopqRY&feature=channel_page)
It obviously worked because not long after this the contractions changed and I was ready to get into the pool. Bit nervous about taking the TENS machine off as I had come to rely on it by now, but the second I hit the water the relief was incredible! It was exactly what I needed. I loved the way the water supported my body weight so I could kneel resting on the side of the pool very comfortably without my knees or hips getting sore.
Second stage contractions where completely different to the first stage ones, which were isolated in my abdomen, not unlike period pain. The second stage contractions took over the whole body - not painful, but an enormous effort. At first I panicked a little as the sudden change in them was so overwhelming and I felt I couldn't breathe as the effort was so intense. But I knew I had to find a way to cope and decided to count my breaths - 7 breaths per contraction. So I knew that if I kept breathing - pushing as I exhaled I was only 7 breaths away from a rest.
At this point the MW said most people have gas & air, but she said I didn't look like I needed it. I agreed and said I'd rather not have it - much better to keep a clear mind and concentrate on counting, I thought!
I was amazed at how my body knew exactly what to do - the MW didn't need to examine me at all as she could tell that my body was ready to push. I had two lovely community midwives to myself, including my own MW who had requested to be called even though she was off duty! There was no shouting "push!" at me or anything, they just stood back and kept an eye on things while I got on with it. There were candles lit around the room and a quiet, calm atmosphere.
I felt baby's head crowning and the contractions changed again - telling me not to push for a little while. Then two more contractions and my son was lying on the bottom of the pool. He opened his eyes and looked up at me from under the water, body stretched out in a startle position. The relief was so overwhelming! Contractions stopped immediately and my instinct was to reach out for him, but I wanted DH to pass him up to me so I held back while he lifted him out of the water and put him in my arms. It was such a wonderful, private moment. Beautiful. The MW took photos for us and let us savour the moment.
After the third stage the MW helped me upstairs to shower, get tucked up into my own bed and to start breastfeeding Henry. Then they left us with toast & tea and I lay with my husband beside me, holding my baby close to me and marveling in this new arrival in our life together! By this time it was around 11pm in the evening, so DH would have had to have left me if I had been in hospital. As it was, we spent our first night together as a family, which I was so grateful for.
I couldn't have hoped for my baby to have a better start in life - a beautiful, calm experience that helped to create a happy, calm and contented baby.
I had a home water birth with Henry, who is my first baby. It was the most amazing thing I've ever experienced!! It was wonderful to be at home in an environment that I felt comfortable in and in control of the situation.
Contractions started just after midnight on Saturday morning - I wasn't entirely sure if it was just braxton hicks as I hadn't experienced any of them before, but I thought there was no harm in sticking on the TENS machine anyway. Worst case was it came to nothing and we got to do a "practice run". Once we'd got the TENS all set up (great by the way!!! it really works!) we went back to bed to get some sleep for a couple of hours.
Around 3:30am I woke DH again to say it was getting stronger so I thought it probably wasn't just a practice run and we went downstairs to fill the birth pool. Bit of a nightmare as although we'd blown up the pool we hadn't tried out the hose for filling it and as soon as the tap went on the hose popped off the tap and exploded water everywhere! Poor DH was stood in the kitchen dripping with water & soaked through his PJs!
Just at the same time I had to grab a bucket and was sick - one word of advice, a chilli filled Thai curry might seem like a good idea to get labour started, but on the way out again you'll regret it!!!
Anyway, with the pool finally filled and everything prepared we went back to bed again for a few more hours sleep and called the MW in the morning to let her know that I was happy to stay on my own, but that things were starting to happen.
After a lovely breakfast together we went for a walk - partly to see if we could get the contractions to become a little more regular and partly because I had a letter to post that I knew I woudn't get around to posting once DS was here! The sun was shining in that lovely autumnal way and we walked around the local park getting some funny looks during contractions!
But it worked and contractions became much stronger and more regular, so back home for some lunch. Trouble was that as soon as I sat down to eat contractions stopped again. It was so stop & start and not painful at all that I began to doubt whether I was in labour or not! At this point I called the MW again as I was fed up with not knowing and could she just come and tell me whether I was in labour or not.
She arrived and did an examination (the only one I had throughout the whole labour!) and told me I was around 5.5cm - established labour! Woohoo! I was pretty impressed too as it wasn't painful at all - just a bit uncomfortable during the contractions, but nothing unmanageable at all!
She did tell me that DS was back to back, which probably accounts for the stop & start labour, so I put on my music and started dancing, doing hip circles during contractions to turn him around. (you can see the video here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nEdqIopqRY&feature=channel_page)
It obviously worked because not long after this the contractions changed and I was ready to get into the pool. Bit nervous about taking the TENS machine off as I had come to rely on it by now, but the second I hit the water the relief was incredible! It was exactly what I needed. I loved the way the water supported my body weight so I could kneel resting on the side of the pool very comfortably without my knees or hips getting sore.
Second stage contractions where completely different to the first stage ones, which were isolated in my abdomen, not unlike period pain. The second stage contractions took over the whole body - not painful, but an enormous effort. At first I panicked a little as the sudden change in them was so overwhelming and I felt I couldn't breathe as the effort was so intense. But I knew I had to find a way to cope and decided to count my breaths - 7 breaths per contraction. So I knew that if I kept breathing - pushing as I exhaled I was only 7 breaths away from a rest.
At this point the MW said most people have gas & air, but she said I didn't look like I needed it. I agreed and said I'd rather not have it - much better to keep a clear mind and concentrate on counting, I thought!
I was amazed at how my body knew exactly what to do - the MW didn't need to examine me at all as she could tell that my body was ready to push. I had two lovely community midwives to myself, including my own MW who had requested to be called even though she was off duty! There was no shouting "push!" at me or anything, they just stood back and kept an eye on things while I got on with it. There were candles lit around the room and a quiet, calm atmosphere.
I felt baby's head crowning and the contractions changed again - telling me not to push for a little while. Then two more contractions and my son was lying on the bottom of the pool. He opened his eyes and looked up at me from under the water, body stretched out in a startle position. The relief was so overwhelming! Contractions stopped immediately and my instinct was to reach out for him, but I wanted DH to pass him up to me so I held back while he lifted him out of the water and put him in my arms. It was such a wonderful, private moment. Beautiful. The MW took photos for us and let us savour the moment.
After the third stage the MW helped me upstairs to shower, get tucked up into my own bed and to start breastfeeding Henry. Then they left us with toast & tea and I lay with my husband beside me, holding my baby close to me and marveling in this new arrival in our life together! By this time it was around 11pm in the evening, so DH would have had to have left me if I had been in hospital. As it was, we spent our first night together as a family, which I was so grateful for.
I couldn't have hoped for my baby to have a better start in life - a beautiful, calm experience that helped to create a happy, calm and contented baby.
Tuesday, 15 September 2009
Baby Led Weaning: So far...
So Henry is 11 months old and we've been Baby Led Weaning (BLW) since he was 6 months - that means no purees! Last week we had a meal out at Nandos, which highlighted to me one of the joys of BLW. Henry sat in his highchair pulled up to the table - included in the meal just as another member of the family should be. He was enjoying watching people going past the window outside and bopping along to the latino music in the background while we waited for our food.
When the food came we all tucked in to strips of chicken and corn on the cob - Henry included! He watched me carefully, looking for tips on how to tackle the corn and enjoyed making use of his new front teeth! As he's had plenty of practice handling food by now there was hardly any mess on the floor and most of it made it into his tummy.
We all thoroughly enjoyed our meal - talking, laughing and eating together as a family. It was a really happy experience.
In contrast, another couple came in with their baby who must have been around 9 months old. Now I have no frame of reference for traditional weaning methods, so I'm not going to make a sweeping generalisation about puree feeding, this is just what this particular couple experienced.
Their food arrived pretty quickly, as it does in Nandos, but instead of tucking in to a nice hot dinner together, they sat in silence while Mum spoon-fed the baby it's puree. This took a good 15 minutes. Then she prepared a bottle and gave that to the baby - another 5-10 minutes. All the while their food was sitting piled up on the table going cold - poor Dad was pinching the odd chip by now and looking longingly at the chicken!
When the baby was full of puree & milk, they put her back in her pushchair away from the table and turned to their own food, enjoying cold chicken and talking together now that their parenting duties were finished.
Now don't get me wrong, BLW doesn't agree with everyone and for many people traditional weaning methods work. No doubt about it. But for me, I am so grateful that I've been given the opportunity to enjoy such a lovely family experience with Henry at such a young age. I have to say a huge thank you to the people at the Breastfeeding support groups for introducing me to BLW and of course to Gill Rapley for her excellent book on the subject, because without that it would have been me eating cold chicken.
Wednesday, 13 May 2009
National Breastfeeding Awareness Week
In celebration of National Breastfeeding Awareness Week I thought I should post about some of the reasons that I am still breastfeeding Henry at 7 months old.
1. The UK government guidelines recommend exclusive breastfeeding for 6 months, which I followed (not an ounce of formula, I'm proud to say!).
2. It's the best food for him - not only nutritionally, but it also contains antibodies to fight illnesses and stem cells so he can reach his 'full genetic potential'. Hence breastfed babies have a higher IQ at age 6 than formula fed children.
3. It gives him comfort and has helped him to be a secure and independant baby
4. Even though we have begun weaning, he still gets the majority of his nutrition from his milk
5. It means he is less likely to get stomach upsets, colic and reflux. Babies tummies aren't designed for processed & powdered cows milk.
5. Henry likes it!
6. I love the special bond that it gives me with him. It is a kind of comfort that he can only get from me & it is what makes me feel like his mother.
7. So much emphasis is put on why breastfeeding is best for the baby - but us mums benefit so much from it too. It helps me to get my figure back, it releases happy hormones to make me feel all 'loved up' with Henry and it lowers my risk of breast cancer.
8. It's convenient! No mixing up formula, lugging around bottles or steralising. Can you imagine doing all that in the middle of the night?! I co-sleep when I need to, if he needs feeding I just lift him onto the bed next to me & I can dose off again while he feeds. What a life saver that has been!
9. It connects me with other bf mums - attending support groups in my opinion is a necessity. It gives you a chance to get help with any problems and some of my closest mummy friends I have met through bf support groups.
10. I just love it! I love Henry and I love being able to provide for him. Nature is truely wonderful...
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