Feminism and Motherhood

www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/feb/12/france-feminism-elisabeth-badinter

This article recently published in the Guardian newspaper fired up some strong emotions for me, as a more or less stay at home Mum. Now before I continue my rant, I should say that I haven’t read the book referred to in the article, so this rant is purely based on the article itself.

It states that: “according to one leading feminist, the French model of motherhood is facing an unprecedented threat from a "dangerous" new brand of thought which seeks to keep women at home and make them the slaves of their children.”

This “dangerous” brand of thought is the green movement - i.e. that breastfeeding and cloth nappies mean that mothers are “tied” to their children in a "regressive" movement that could set back feminism by decades.

The article closes with a quote from Sabine Salmon, president of the association Femmes Solidaires, who says “that during school visits over the past two years her employees had noticed more and more French schoolgirls expressing a desire to stay at home. "It's a very worrying indicator," she said.”

This quote angered me the most. The problem is that this reveals an underlying opinion that being a stay at home Mum is not a worthwhile profession. These so called “feminists” actually do not believe that feminity has any value and that in order to be “equal” members of society, women must be more like men.

While I am grateful, in awe, of those women who faught so hard in the past for our rights - for the vote, to be able to work alongside men and to have the same opportunities as men, I am also grateful that I have the choice to be a full-time Mother to my children. In todays culture, I am incredibly lucky to be able to do this, as so many women have no choice but to return to work.

And surely it is the *choice* that is important. These “feminists” seek to take this choice away from me, to limit my oportunities in life, rather than to expand them and to say that I am a second class citizen if I choose not to enter the corporate world and instead to be a “slave” to my children.

My work as a mother is the most important thing in the world to me. If you had a job you were proud of, would you not want to do it to the best of your abilities? So for me, doing my best involves breastfeeding my children, using cloth nappies, not just for the environment but for the health of my children and being there to comfort them when they need me.

By doing this job I contribute something I feel is priceless to our family. If we were to pay a childminder 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks in a year it would cost a fortune. This could be a starting point for putting a price on my work.

But I don’t do it for money. How many employees, with fancy jobs that they have to commute to and work long hours for, could say that they would continue to do their job if one day they won the lottery?

I wouldn’t give up my job for all the money in the world. I might pay someone to do the washing up, but the childminder? Never. It is my privilege to be able to care for my children.

So why should it be worrying that more teenagers aspire to live a life like mine, full of laughter and cuddles and the rewards of watching your children grow and mature? Certainly we should all aspire to getting a good education, an income and being self sufficient as women. But if the oportunity arises to be a stay at home Mum, to contribute something *more* than money to your family, shouldn’t we have the choice to take it?

I am not a slave to my children, this implies enforced labour. I give myself freely.